Some people are fascinated with outer space.
I am too- in the same way some people are fascinated with mass murderers. Intriguing, but it will freak you out if you think about it too much.
Racist people are scared of black men. I am scared of black holes.
I wanna go home.
There is far too much space in space. Plant a tree, or paint a feature wall.
I don’t understand why space needs to be so big. Is it really necessary to be infinite? Why not just be a bazillion cubic miles and be done with it? Surely the global real estate market isn’t growing that fast?
Infinity? Is that even possible?
Space was not named well. When I think of ‘space’, I think of- “maybe I could fit an extra pair of socks into my suitcase”; or “yes you can stay, there is enough space for you to sleep on a mattress in the lounge”.
Some people want to travel into space.
I don’t.
I can’t think of anything more terrifying than floating around an infinite universe. I get lost easily enough in my own house. Though, hanging out next to old fatty magoo, a.k.a Jupiter, I would look really skinny.
I need boundaries, physical or metaphorical. If not for boundaries, I would have a pet lion and start an underground fight club (‘Lionel’ would be my star fighter. I’d draw some human abs on his stomach, then no one would click he’s not actually human, but a giant cat).
In space, there are no lights. Except stars. But they emit more than light. Like flames and poisonous gas. There are also meteor showers and asteroids. I will not feel unfulfilled if I never see one in my life. Space is dangerous, dammit!
NASA thinks space is awesome (It wants to marry space. It wants to have babies with space, and name them after astronomers). It loves space so much, that it spends bazillions of dollars on this long distance love affair, while real humans can’t afford to buy cancer treatment, or Botox.
I bet astronauts are like those really annoying ‘ubertravellers’ who always needlessly drop exotic places they have been into conversation.
“You would never believe it, I was sitting in an amazing cafe on Saturn, when I got an eyelash stuck to my face! On Saturn!”
-or-
“So, I was floating past Venus, when Gary choked on a sundried tomato, while floating past venus! It was hilarious, while floating past venus!”
No wonder they haven’t made friends with any aliens. Astronauts are socially retarded. They have vaccuum packed faces and use nappies.
I am all for expanding my horizons, but I am more comfortable if I can actually see one.
Space may have some cool bits, but it’s mainly just space.
