There are many ways in which we can find success in this life. The hardest thing about finding success is defining what it is to be successful. An obvious definition of success is to be rich and powerful and have a hideous haircut. But today, my friends, we will not be exploring that option. Another [...]
Entries from September 2009
September 26, 2009
Cheese- The Ultimate Betrayl
I am a lover of food. Food is what gets me up in the morning and it is what motivates me to be a better human. Dreams of food fill my dreams (surprisingly enough), and recent studies have shown that 76% of my thoughts are food related, eg, ‘I wonder what my cat would taste [...]
September 23, 2009
Sarah Harpur- Funeral Planner
J-Lo plans weddings. Well she does in movies. A movie. A really rubbish movie. A really rubbish movie that my anonymous friend (Donelle Paulette Gardner of Napier, Hawkes Bay, DOB 15/05/1974) owns on DVD. Along with ‘Shall We Dance’, ‘Enough’, ‘Gigli’ and other critically acclaimed, J-Lo featuring treats. J-Lo may know how to plan weddings, [...]
September 20, 2009
Self Esteem- It’s Conditional
Today I don’t like myself. My self esteem is low. The cause of my current low self esteem may seem tiny to some. It is only 1cm wide. The cause of this self hatred may be tiny, but it is powerful. Tinier and more powerful than babies (See ‘Babies- The Wasted Youth). And i am [...]
September 17, 2009
An Evening at the Theatre…
I just went to the worst piece of theatre in the world. Alright, it was a primary school production, but I would not be doing them any favours by pretending the show was Broadway fit- and positive, gushy reviews are boring and lame. There is something deliciously evil about criticising the earnest efforts of children, [...]
September 16, 2009
Winning, Winning, Winning…
I like to win. There. I said it. Everyone does. But I like winning heaps. To the point where I will surround myself with people who aren’t doing too good to make me look like I am. If I see an old lady gingerly shuffling down the footpath I will run past her. A few [...]
September 15, 2009
Babies- The Wasted Youth
There are a lot of things I don’t understand in life. I am well aware that I probably know less things for certain, than things I am pretty vague on. Like the meaning, and/or correct grammar of the previous sentence. Possibly one of the most confusing things, to me, are babies. They are humans. But [...]
September 14, 2009
Beauty is Only Aluminium Deep
I am not a snob. Far from it. I wear gym gear not only at the gym, but to the gym, and on the bus (yes the BUS) back home. Shiny grey leggings, mismatched socks and 80′s dad sneakers. It’s a sight to behold. I pride myself in not caring about my appearance- to the [...]
September 10, 2009
Breaking News…
Whoah! This will totally blow your mind! I heard, from a reputable source, that Hi-5 have a suicide pact.* This information has yet to be confirmed by official spokespeople. When the area of Nathans forehead becomes more than 50% of the total area of his face, all former and current members of the popular band [...]
September 8, 2009
It’s The Dump!
I went to the dump. Except it is not called ‘the dump’ these days. Ours is called ‘The Southern Landfill’. It is not a ‘landfill’- it is a DUMP. As Shakespeare said- “A dump by any other name would still smell as shit. And have seagulls.” But the truth is, times have changed. The golden [...]
